The Starting of Staying Alone…..

When the person whom you love the most plans or ultimately goes to her native leaving you alone for so many days then the day becomes year, hour a month and minutes a day. The most painful part is, if you even feel like calling or talking to her, you can’t as she is in her home with her parent’s who may get offended. Also if you think that ok in front of parent’s we will talk in such a way that no one can figure out anything then also that’s not possible.

The moment of staying alone started on 30^th Nov when it was planned that she will go to her parent’s home for a visit and to celebrate diwali there. Starting it was like I was very strong and thought staying away will not be an issue as it’s a matter of fact of just 10 days, but seriously telling the pain or the feeling of staying away from her came to me as a big slap on my face when she started off for her trip. I started to feel the 10 days as 10 years.

First it was I tried to comfort me by telling (believe me I didn’t thought but told myself loudly) that it is just a small flight journey which will end within few hours and then again we can talk but the pain of missing got intense when I came to my home and found myself all alone. At last her flight journey came to an end and she landed safely I am relieved now that she reached to her first destination safely. Believe me she is still a kiddo and the matter of seriousness in her is very less. Yes this is a big issue but I don’t know why but I like this trait of her very much. And due to her this trait she forgot to call me as she was very excited with her first trip by flight J. I called her up after few minutes there was little anger within me but that got overcome by the love and amount of pain of missing her. The whole day passed by and every single minute I felt like a day. At 5:00 she needed to board a bus to reach to her home. She boarded and this time she remembered to call me up J. During our conversation I found out that she got cough and cold due to the change in weather. Believe me it was like a big hit to me and I got very sad as she was ill L. Finally she reached her home safely at around 10:00 and I was very relieved.

Day 2 – The day is a very normal day for both of us. I woke up early and came to office. The level of missing her got more and more intense when I found she was not there in her cubicle. Normally I go to her cubicle only when she ping me for some help but today it was very different. It was like I was looking for her in her cubicle. Even a time came when I thought that she may went to washroom and will be back soon. We talked 2 times today in office. For the first time she went to balcony to talk with me but was not able to talk as some1 came there and second time she went to terrace to talk but due to the intense heat of sun I only avoid talking with her as I didn’t wanted her to stay out in Sun for long. Later in evening she went out with her bro for some sis bro time out. At night we talked but it was for very less duration as she was feeling very sleepy.

Day 3 – Another day of missing her and the worst part I am not having office today, so I can’t even pile myself with work so that I can reduce the pain of missing her. From morning we were chatting now and then either in FB or WeChat(I think we are the only 2 person who uses this app leaving the ppl who are been paid to use this app in advertisement). From morning she planned to visit parlor but due to her 2^nd lovable trait I mean I love this trait of her (in bengali it is called as lyadh khawa) she postponed it to evening. The complete day I missed her a lot and thought I will not allow her to know how much I am missing her.  But as I don’t hide anything from her so this also came out and she came to know about it. I know that she may not remember anything but believe me I remember each and everything related to her.

Day 4 – Today is Saturday again no office. But today I was very happy as she planned to go out with her mom for shopping and she planned to meet up with her best buddies. I thought of how to kill time then it came up I need to go out to buy crackers. So talked with her in morning when she started in a hurry with her mom for shopping and I also went to buy crackers. I returned back around 4 and found that there was no message or call from her side. I messaged her and came to know that she also returned at 4 only talked for a while and she told that she is going to get ready for her evening plans. I never stopped her from doing anything or never asked for extra time so today also didn’t asked but it is my bad luck that she didn’t figured out how much I was missing her. Before leaving she again called me up, was very happy to hear her voice. We dropped the call early as she reached to their meeting place. Again called her up one more time to disturb her but it was bcoz I was worried about her but I think she took in a different way L. At last at night we talked for 2 hrs and I don’t know how she felt like but for me it was like all my tiredness went away.

Day 5 – Sunday another day at home without her L. Today is a tough day for me as today is diwali and she is not with me to celebrate this auspicious day. She was full on plans movie with Bro then adda with old buddies. Full day was normal for us except the moment when I called her up at around 8:00PM unable to control my emotions for her and the limit of her emptiness. She picked up the call and told me talk after 5min which she was doing from much time due to her trait No 1 (no Seriousness and unable to figure out my emotions). But I did a mistake and called her up again which made her angry to limits and built fear in me. She talked very harshly but it is ok for me as this much happens in every relationship. After that we talked and believe me when I listened her soothing voice again I felt very freshen up and enjoyed with my frnds over here.

Day 6 – Believe me today I woke up early and was continuously trying to figure out ways in which I will feel less pain and how can I overcome the pain of missing you but today something different happened. When I was starting for office I got your good morning reply through FB ping with a lot of love. I was like rejoiced on getting the ping and so I delayed going to office by 30 min and talked with you. After that we were unable to talk as for me no Net connection and for you it was like your mom is there so we can’t talk through call. But truly saying when we talked at last at the time you started for concert I felt rejoiced and all my pain went away. You came back early from the concert and then we stared chatting and I don’t know why I scolded you as I found negligence from your side for me. I am really Sorry for that as I never want to scold my princess. Late night after dinner we talked for more than 1 hr and I felt rejoiced.

Day 7 – The auspicious occasion (Bhai Fota) for which I didn’t stopped you from going to your home before me. My cold and cough went to an extreme level and I got fever today morning. I woke up early and found that I am unable to move and everything is moving here and there. Then also like always sent you good morning message in FB, WeChat and through text. After that I closed my eyes and dreamt about you. When finally I woke up it was 10:00AM. I hurried to check my ipod and mobile and found you replied in FB. Didn’t wanted to miss any conversation so without thinking much replied back and u asked to call you I was totally rejoiced and my fever went away. In the call you asked me to stay back in home and told that u will accompany me full day. Let’s see how much that will be possible J. Seriously I can’t express my level of joy. It was like full day and night we talked and u didn’t allow me to feel like you are away in your home.

Day 8 – We again talked today morning as no one was there in your home and seriously telling I was feeling bad as I needed to go to my office and you will be alone in your home. May be FB and whatsapp will circumfuse your boredom but was not really ready to leave you alone. I reached office and talked a little then came to know that your mom returned. I was little disheartened for the fact as now I will not be able to talk much with you but was happy also as you can enjoy with your mom now. You called up at evening we talked and I was relaxed and was very happy. But today night something wrong happened. Instead of you telling me that you will talk after sometime I continuously poked you and bothered you to talk with me and finally it went to a level which irritated you. After that we talked but I felt very guilty for making you angry. I can still feel the guilt and that’s why want to repent now also.

Day 9 – Today morning it was like I woke up and checked my iPod to check if you pinged. Ultimately I pinged you to wish my princess morning and waited you to wake up and reply. The wait was long but ultimately got your ping. Talked for some time and then went o office. Today whole morning and afternoon we talked via SMS but no call was little sad about the fact but accepted it as it was like day after tomorrow you will be returning back to me. Evening you called up but when I heard your voice found out that something was wrong and you are disturbed talked little and then I needed to drop as you had some plans with your frnds. But ultimately came to know that you are going out with your mom for making glasses. I returned back in a hurry so that I can chat through FB and then came to know you will be leaving again with your dad. J Finally the worst part happened the fact which disturbed you was going to start in few minutes. I was very worried as I didn’t want you to face it but was not able to help out from such a long distances also. I called you up so that I can get to know whats happening there but the topic which we choose to have our conversation was office work. Ultimately when everything slowed down a little u dropped the call and came in FB ping. We chatted again for long but today I was not able to hear my princess sleeping.

Day 10 – Yaayyyy tomorrow you are returning back to me. Today it was a great start of a day as you pinged and asked to call you it was like the ultimate peace. I called up and we planned your whole day activity but before we can finish I needed to drop the call as you mom came back from her bath. It was a short call but very much refreshing for me. After I went to Office I was pretty sure that today I will not be able to talk with you due to your busy schedule but I was very surprised when u called up in late afternoon. It was like for the first time u choose me from your sleep was very excited. At evening you went to buy sweets for us and then again we discussed on which sweet need to be taken and not. Finally when I came back home I called up and helped you in packing your stuffs it was amazing I started to feel like that you are by my side. You need to wake up at 3:30 AM tomorrow morning so I was more concerned and wanted you to sleep but as today is your last day in home so you were having fun with your family which was normal. Finally you slept around 12:10AM and I again started missing you a lot.